Rangaswamy and Tiger

This is a poem by one creative guy from my old school... No clue who the
nutty bugger is :)

Rangaswamy and Tiger

Deep in jungle I am went,
On shooting Tiger I am bent.
Bugger Tiger has eaten wife,
No doubt I avenge poor darling's life.
Too much quite, snakes and leeches,
But am not feared these sons of beeches.
Hearing loud noise I am jump with start,
But noise is coming from damn fool heart.
Taking care not to be fright,
I am clutching rifle with eye to sight.
Should Tiger come I will fall him down,
Then like hero return to native town.
Then through trees I am espying one cave,
I am telling self: "Rangaswamy be brave".
I now proceed with too much care,
From nonsense smell this Tiger's lair.
My leg is shake, I start to pray,
I think I shoot Tiger some other day.
Turning round I am going to go,
But Tiger giving bloody roar.
He bounding from cave like shooting star,
I commend my soul to Kali Ma.
Through the jungle I am went,
Like bullet with Tiger hot on scent.
Mighty Tiger rave and rant,
Rangaswamy shit in pant.
Must to therefore leave the jungle,
Killing Tiger one big bungle!
I am telling that never in life
I will risk again for damn fool wife.

When you are Old and Grey

Thanks to a good friend of mine here is a very special poem that was recited in her class by one of her professors...

The most popular type of popular song is of course the love song, and I'd like to illustrate several subspecies of this form during the evening. First of all, the type of love song where the fellow tells the girl that although the years ahead will almost certainly destroy every vestige of her already dubious charms, that nonetheless his love for her will shine on forever through the years, you know. Another example of stark realism in the popular song. This particular example is called When You Are Old And Grey, and I'd like to dedicate it to anyone in the audience who is still in love with each other.

Since I still appreciate you,
Let's find love while we may.
Because I know I'll hate you
When you are old and grey.

So say you love me here and now,
I'll make the most of that.
Say you love and trust me,
For I know you'll disgust me
When you're old and getting fat.

An awful debility,
A lessened utility,
A loss of mobility
Is a strong possibility.
In all probability
I'll lose my virility
And you your fertility
And desirability,
And this liability
Of total sterility
Will lead to hostility
And a sense of futility,
So let's act with agility
While we still have facility,
For we'll soon reach senility
And lose the ability.

Your teeth will start to go, dear,
Your waist will start to spread.
In twenty years or so, dear,
I'll wish that you were dead.

I'll never love you then at all
The way I do today.
So please remember,
When I leave in December,
I told you so in May.